How to End the World

If you are an evil dictator, a member of a failing terrorist group or just an emotionally charged teenager you are probably looking for a simple step-by-step guide to ending the world. Well you are in luck! This simple guide will help anyone that wants to destroy the earth in simple understandable language even George W. Bush would not have to much trouble with.

There are a number of options for ending the world and these are detailed below. You will need a good bit of financial support from a rich fundamentalist of some kind. I suggest you read this guide in conjunction with your sponsors in order to determine which option is right for you.

Nuclear War

You will need to work along side a rogue state who have or are likely to acquire nuclear weapons. The states must launch weapons directly towards an enemy with nuclear weapons. You will need to be sure that your country has allies who also have nuclear weapons and that the 'enemy' also has allies with nuclear weapons.

This option is ideal for those who want to end the world totally, not just human life as this option will be highly destructive.

Mad Scientists

This option requires your own science lab and a mad scientist willing to help you out with a little experiment. You can look for such an individual inside a vivisection (animal testing) lab who will be more accustomed to evil science than others might be. The experiment is to find and release a virus or viruses that will kill it's target and be spread quickly.

This option will be suitable for those who would like to kill specific species (e.g. humans) because the viruses could be somewhat targeted.

Global Warming

A much slower but no less effective way to end the world is to allow climate change to get out of control. For this you will need the help of a number of multinational companies that must continued using CO2 and other greenhouse gases and steadily increase the amount they use year on year. Unfortunately many of these companies operate in democracies and this may limit there carbon out put, to help prevent this ask these corporations to sponsor (i.e. bribe) scientists that will deny human beings part in climate change.

This option is great for those that want to end the world over time and do not want an instant solution.

Hypnotism

You will need to work with a number of television stations across the world. You should then run advertisements with hidden hypnotic messages for people to kill each other and how they should do this. You should speak to your sponsors about what your adverts should be supposedly about as you may be able to recoup some of the cost of the advertising buy promoting saleable products at the same time.

This option is very customisable as you can choose how and when people will start killing each other.

So there you are, I hope you found this guide helpful and I look forward to seeing which option you choose to end the world. Happy Armageddon!